I started my Facebook profile when it was exclusive to college students (back when “poke” was the only annoying thing about Facebook). The profile picture is one of the few things that has survived the multiple changes Facebook has made over the years. My friends, specifically my female friends, have changed their profile pictures in almost predictable waves. I give you The Evolution of the Female Facebook Profile Pictures:
1. I joined Facebook! This is an acceptable picture of myself that I already had on my computer. I’m probably wearing sunglasses and standing by the ocean.
2. I have been on Facebook for a few months. I have taken several more pictures my college experiences. Here is a picture of me pressing my cheek up to another girl’s cheek because we are best friends and always will be. I have changed my relationship status from “single” to “married to -random best friend-” because we thought it would be funny and because we are just such close friends.
3. I met a guy and have changed my relationship status from “married to -random best friend-” to “in a relationship with new guy.” I have changed my picture to prove I didn’t make this guy up. Here is a picture of us at a baseball game.
4. The boy proposed three months ago. I changed my relationship status to “engaged” about 30 seconds after the ring was on my finger. We finally got our engagement photos and I have promptly changed my photo to the two of us sitting by a tree on a bright Autumn day.
5. We got married a week ago (or in some cases, a day ago)! I am looking through pictures my friends and family took at the wedding. One of these is my new profile picture.
6. It has been 2 months since I got married. I just got the professional photos back. Here is a picture of me grinning at my husband in soft light.
7. We have been married for 1.5 years. Here is a picture from the ultrasound of our baby (or if there is no sense of privacy, a picture of the home pregnancy test)!
8. Just a few months to go. Here is a picture of the profile of my belly.
9. Baby was born 8 minutes ago. Here is a mobile upload of a very unflattering photo of myself holding the new baby!
10. From here on out you will only see pictures of my child, new ultrasound pictures of my next pregnancy, or me holding my child. My husband will, as far as my Facebook profile is concerned, cease to exist. My friend from step 2 was in my wedding party. She is now married and expecting her 2nd child. I know this only because of Facebook; I haven’t actually talked to her since the wedding. We are still best friends.