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I went to the dry cleaner for the first time in at least a decade. I didn’t drop any clothes off. You see, I’m a big fan of not paying people to clean my clothes. I went there to figure out how much it would cost to preserve my wedding dress. It has been almost three years since I wore the dress and since then it has hung in my closet, slowly turning yellow and probably getting eaten by bugs. As this year’s anniversary gift, Jeremy is getting it preserved for me I am getting it preserved for myself. This gift is much like the sunglasses I fixed for Jeremy, in which the person it matters to has to do all the work for the gift.

Preserving a dress is expensive and supports my reasons for avoiding the cleaners; $165 for a regular dress, $185 for larger dresses. The clerk swore that most dresses fell in the $165 range and tried to convince me that the dress she never saw would fall in that category. I corrected her, “It’s a huge ball gown with a lot of tulle. It will be $185.” The pregnant clerk clearly had no idea what I was talking about.

Then when it is preserved I will sit on an obviously uncomfortable white couch and cradle the box as if it was my child. Do you like my bangs?