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I mentioned the other day that I played through the box of Apples to Apples and how I was able to watch my friend Ryan (the obsessive game-lover) get tired of a game. Yesterday this text conversation occurred between me and Ryan (side note, you should know we are both fans of How I Met Your Mother and our conversation read like a HIMYM episode):

Ryan: Hey there

Me: Hi

R: I have a confession to make to you. I never want to play Apples to Apples again. You broke me.

M: YES!!!

R: There are limits!!

M: I hate Apples to Apples too. The game I was playing was to break you.

R: WHAT!?!?! Now you’re just trying to kill me

M: I really truly hate that game.

R: So, you played a game you hate – ad nauseum – simply to get me to hate it?

M: Yup! I wanted to prove that it is impossible to love all games

R: You’re evil – evil evil woman – I mean, seriously. Who spends 5 hours playing the same stinking game!?

M: People who like monopoly or risk. – You know why I hate Apples to Apples? Because someone made me play through the box

R: I see – so you were exacting your revenge on someone who wasn’t involved. An evil demented version of pay it forward.

M: no revenge

R: I used to love all games. Apples to Apples wasn’t a favorite but I enjoyed it in small, sensible doses. You’ve ruined me.

M: Getting you to break was a game I chose to play with myself because you gave me such a hard time for not playing games at the cast party. So I played a game, Ryan. I played a game.

R: Oh, you’re good. You even mentioned beforehand that you’ll play games and that you’re looking forward to it. Leading me on. Baiting the hook.

S: (I really hope you are picturing my voice as Neal Patrick Harris in How I Met Your Mother after he reveals his plots from his playbook)

R: (I TOTALLY was. I hope I’m Ted in your mind)

S: (you totally are) We could have another get together. This time I’ll be human.

R: I don’t trust you. That’s the cost of your little game. You won’t get to know the joys of playing board games with me. 😉

S: You know you can’t stop playing games around me. Games, even games with me, are irresistable.

R: That’s the old Ryan.

S: Back when I was still your friend?

R: Yup. I thought you were just seizing an opportunity to have fun at my expense. I didn’t realize you had planned it out.

S: It didn’t take much planning. I just went with the crowd and then suggested playing through the whole box and NO ONE ELSE complained!

R: Idiots.

S: It was too perfect.

R: Someday when we’re friends again, I’ll give you Kudos.

S: Do you want a peace offering?

R: Couldn’t hurt

S: I will play one game of Settlers of Catan in exchange for our relationship going back to the way it was prior to my evil plot

R: You don’t even like Settlers

S: I don’t but I know you do

R: I think it’d be much more peaceful if you offered to play any game of my choosing

S: Ok, any game of your choosing

R: Or how about this: 1 excruciatingly long game on a predetermined date or 5 unexpected games. I’ll set up the game countdown website and everything.

S: Is this slap bet?

R: Yep. I’ve transitioned into Marshall. With a mix of Lily’s Dad.

S: Ok deal. 5 unexpected games.

So there it is. Ryan has to be my friend for as long as the game bet is in place. 5 games to play at the times of his choosing (yes, he gets to decide how long our friendship will be). they can’t exceed 45 minutes each and they must be card or board games.